The turn in the season leads my bride to break out the pumpkin spice creamer, as October is rich for us. 12 years ago this month, love struck, and 11 years ago, Vapor Ministries was born. Truth be told, I didn't always view this time of year as blessed. To the contrary, for a long time I marked it as the worst month in my life.
21 years ago, in October 1995, I was found body limp and color blue drifting face down in an ocean current, unconscious with no pulse. I had dived into a wave, shattering 4 vertebrae in my neck and was rendered completely paralyzed. Having filled my lungs with water in a desperate attempt to reach the surface, I, in essence, drowned. CPR, then a life-flight led to ICU and a battle to survive. Survival led to months in hospitals filled with tubes, IVs, catheters, wheelchairs, and countless hours of painful rehab. Needless to say, the tragedy forever marked me and my family physically, spiritually and emotionally. It complicated many basic functions like feeding myself and took with it the dreams of a young quarterback, pitcher and point guard. For the longest time fixated on what was lost, relived the fading of past hopes and fought in vain to get back to "normal". Try as I might, spinal damage and some associated paralysis were not to be altered.
It was not until sometime later that my eyes were opened to what I had gained. Looking through a different set of lenses, I saw entitlement has no place, as all I had before and everything I have now is a gift from God. Yes, I lost tangible things, but He granted intangible gifts of far greater value. In time, looking back became an exercise in praise instead of regret. My eyes were opened to God's faithfulness, provision, and purpose in and through both trial and blessing.
It is ironic that what was once considered the worst day of my life, I now view as one of the best, a gateway day through which some of God's greatest blessings have entered. The master architect used loss to usher in countless gain. The brevity of life and the reality that it is like a Vapor has no doubt been impressed into my inner man and changed my life's course. He is teaching and I am learning that to look back in regret is futile, but to peer into the past to see God's hand in every season can give courage and hope for the future. May God help us to only look back in order to better see the way forward.
"I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands." Psalm 143:5
"No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:31
"I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old." Psalms 77:11
- Micah McElveen